Where Can I Turn For Peace?

It's been a while since I posted on this blog. I have been wondering what to write. The overwhelming feeling I have is to write about one dear sister in our ward who is a recent convert. Last week she lost her 12 week old baby to SIDS. It has been such an emotional time. Although I don't fully comprehend exactly what she is going through, I do have on a much smaller level, experience with losing a child. I have had 2 miscarriages in the last few years. And while that is not the same as losing a child who has been born and lived with you for a time, this experience has brought back to the surface those tender emotions I felt when I was going through those losses. I think about those 2 babies often and wonder what they would have been like. As hard as that was, I had hope through a knowledge of a loving Savior who knew the pain and hearache I was feeling. My favorite hymn helped me through those times: "Where Can I Turn For Peace?"

Where can I turn for Peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart,
Anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart, searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know,
Where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand
To calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.

He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane,
Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds
For my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.

~Emma Lou Thayne

I love that hymn. It has brought me much comfort through difficult times in my life.

Kwin performed the funeral of the baby on Saturday. He did an amazing job and reminded us all of a loving Savior who welcomed little Brayden home. He also asked each of us there to think about the Savior and to reflect on his visit to the Nephites after his resurrection. The Savior took the Nephites one by one and let them feel his hands and feet. If I had that opportunity, what would I do with it? It is important to remember that the Savior's mission is for us individually. I love Him and I am so thankful for Him and a knowledge of the Atonement!

So Thankful. . .

About 2 weeks ago my cousin committed suicide. It was a shock for me, but apparently he had been battling depression for some time. It made me do some serious reflection and soul searching. The one thing that was very prevalent in my mind was how thankful I was for the gospel. I'm so thankful for a knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. I'm so thankful for a testimony of the Savior and of His Atoning sacrifice and the hope of a better life to come. I am so blessed to have been born to goodly parents who taught me the gospel. I'm so thankful for the tender mercies of the Lord--they give me the sweet assurance that He is there and that He loves me. I am so thankful. . .

Loaves and Fishes

We were planning to feed the missionaries one Sunday afternoon in recent weeks. I had planned on making an au gratin potato/ham casserole. Usually one pan feeds my family with little to no leftovers, so I figured if I made 2 batches, it would be enough for us plus the missionaries. Kwin called that Sunday after church and said that we needed to feed another family of 5 who was having major financial struggles and had no food. So, I threw together an extra salad and crossed my fingers that we would have enough food.

After everyone was finished eating, I was shocked at the amount of food left over, especially the potato casserole, even though a lot of people had second helpings. The more I thought about it, I kept thinking of the story of the loaves and fishes. Because we were serving others, we were blessed to have more than enough.

The Lord knows us and our needs and is there to help us. It is such a blessing to be able to help others.

Fathers

Before I forget, I had better post this one. In primary today we worked on the song we are singing in Sacrament Meeting for Father's Day in 2 weeks. It is called "Fathers." It has 3 verses and talks about 3 different fathers--our earthly father, the father of our ward (aka bishop), and our Heavenly Father.

Every time we sing this song, when we get to the 3rd verse, I feel the Spirit so strongly. Here are the words:

And now we'll sing great praise
And reverently recall
the Holy One who gave his son,
The Father of us all.

This verse gets me every time! I'm so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who sent his son to atone for my sins!

A New Beginning. . .

I have decided to start a second blog. I doubt anyone but me will read this. But that is okay. It is a personal journey that I can look back on at times and I hope it will give me great joy and strength. I confess that I "stole" this idea from a person I knew in Laramie. I came across her blog and she had a second "spiritual" blog. I thought that was a great idea, so here we go!

Lately I have been feeling that I have become too casual in some areas of my life. Specifically in my scripture study and personal prayers. At times I have been really strong in these areas, and at other times I have faltered a bit. I'm hoping that this blog will help me to become stronger in those areas that need improving.

And, as my title suggests, I am hoping to take President Eyring's advice "to find ways to recognize and remember God's kindness."

Today in Sunday School we had a lesson on section 76 of the Doctrine and Covenants and the three degrees of glory. The lesson began with a story of a woman who was driving to a particular destination. Due to construction and many detours, she found herself quite lost and unable to figure out where to go next. She went and bought a GPS and was able to find her way to her destination. Our teacher then started talking about the purpose of a GPS. We discussed that in order for a GPS to lead us to our destination, we have to "plug in" the address of the place we want to arrive. He then likened this to our lives. We can have in our lives our own GPS--a God Piloting System. I think of my personal GPS as the Holy Ghost to guide me and lead me. But the key is, I need to know where I'm headed--I need to "punch in" my destination. Do I want to end up in the Celestial Kingdom? Or is my destination somewhere else?

This lesson really struck me and made me do some thinking. Am I on the right course? Sure, I go to church and try to keep the commandments and do good things. I try to be a good mother and wife. But am I doing everything I can do? Am I doing everything I need to do to lead me to my destination? Have I put "Celestial Kingdom" as my destination? Have I become too casual in certain areas of my spirituality?

Today I am starting that journey. I am putting "Celestial Kingdom" as my destination and I hope that this spiritual journey will help me use my GPS to get me there!